XOXO

I have been desperately trying to wrap up this recap of fall break so that I can move on with my life, but right now I am at a standstill in my summary of the trip. Sunday night, after we had escaped the harassment of our driver, eaten our dinner in darkness, and gotten into our mosquito-netted room, I found out that my grandmother had passed away, and I can say without a doubt that it was the hardest night of my life having to process this information while in a hotel in the middle of nowhere in West Africa.

I cannot even describe how important my grandmother was to me and to my family. She was kind, she was smart, she was witty, and she was incredibly sassy - she definitely gave all the women in my family a little (or a lot) of her attitude. She was the perfect grandmother to be at the center of our dysfunctional family. My childhood is chracterized by my 'coffee breaks' with her, where she would pick me up from school and bring me to her house to drink pepsi with a spoon and eat chocolate cake with my hands. My caffeine addiction in addition to my excessive sarcasm can be blamed on my grandmother. She was my nurse when I would hurt myself, my cheerleader when I graduated high school, got into college, and became her 'world traveler', my second mother whenever she felt the need to lecture me on my driving or about being nicer to my sister, and a friend I could go to anytime when I just needed someone to listen. She comforted me more times than I can count with her words, her promises that things would get better, and, of course, with chocolate. When my grandfather died, she wrote to me about my courage and how proud she was of me despite how much I knew she was hurting.

I feel incredibly lucky that I had Holley and Maggie with me on the trip and I'm so grateful that they were there to talk to me, to let me cry, and to read Little Women out loud to me when I was too sick to get out of bed. Just being around them gave me comfort when I was so far from home.

My grandmother always wanted to be known as 'crazy', and she was. She gave us zerbetts and always told us what good doobies we were. She baked angel food cake every Christmas and made us sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. She was fantastic, and no words can describe how much she will be missed and how difficult this loss has been and will be to handle.

Grammie, you told me that after Papa died you still talked to him every morning - that it brought you back to when you were together and when you would laugh and joke, and I've found myself doing the same thing with you. I love you. XOXO